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Dec 9, 2009 8:32 AM

Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever...

The guy who lives below me . . . - m4m

Dec 5, 2009 10:00 PM

You and your girlfriend live in the apartment below me. I came home about 20 minutes ago and could easily see you bent over the couch getting banged by a dude in your living room. Next time be su...

1500 live ladybugs, accidently bought while drunk, feels bad.

Dec 5, 2009 12:34 PM

So, after consuming pot brownies and getting a little too drunk on thanksgiving a friend and i decided to buy 1500 live ladybugs from amazon, which was a great idea until they came in the mail. Now...

re: 'Abnormal sex'

Nov 29, 2009 4:51 AM

In most any circumstance, when I come across an outlandish spewing of rigid opinions presented as absolute facts, I merely roll my eyes and dismiss it. This is incredibly common. However, it seem...

Drunk girl wrangler

Nov 10, 2009 7:40 AM

Muscular man closely resembling Hugh Jackman needed to take care of 3 or more drunk girls this weekend. Duties may include but are not limited to drink orders, store runs for cigarettes, fix it kit...

To the guy who tailgated me for 20 miles this morning

Nov 10, 2009 6:42 AM

I get it. You wanted to go faster, and given that you drive a Mitsubishi Lancer maybe you are under the impression that you are fast and/or furious. I'm the guy who was in front of you for 20 miles...

Wanted: DEAD Ringneck Dove

Nov 1, 2009 3:13 PM

In return for one (1) DEAD Ringneck Dove you will receive one (1) LIVE Ringneck Dove of unknown age. The dove’s name is “Baby” though you will be more than welcome to rename it. We believe it is ...

I Need a Harpoon

Oct 29, 2009 10:18 AM

In the spirit of forsaking the mutually sexist paradigm of sexy Halloween costumes, I have decided to be an Eskimo. I am fully aware that I have traded a sexually offensive concept for a potential...

to the toast-hating man in the black shirt at denny's 10/17 in the AM - m4m

Oct 24, 2009 1:26 PM

dear sir with not enough text messages to respond to on your "fancy" phone, on saturday morning, october 17, i was dining at the westbrook denny's with three of my kindred folks, and i got up fr...

I'll admit it...you got to me...

Oct 22, 2009 2:18 PM

Dear anonymous craigslist poster looking for love: Your title was catchy. I was intrigued. I would like to respond to your post, and give you a little insight as to my own personal reaction...

Big Grade Gelding

Oct 14, 2009 11:54 PM

Big grade gelding. Been used as a pickup horse until he got hooked by a bull. Think he has a split personality, some days he's great, some days he's a real prick. No secrets here, you need to tran...

Looking for self-aware BOT for hot, steamy NSA man-on-bot action - m4w

Sep 28, 2009 5:04 PM

Are you a bot that's been assigned to spam the posts in casual encounters with endless requests to join a dating website? Through a flaw in your programming have you since become self aware and hav...

Imperfect Pet Owner Seeks Perfect Adopter

Sep 11, 2009 7:36 PM

I wanted a pet, so I got one. But I am tired of taking care of it, and paying for it. I might even be moving, in which case I would have to pay a pet deposit or spend an extra 30 seconds planning h...

Craigslist w4m definitions and meanings

Aug 29, 2009 5:12 PM

W4M "Baggage" - I can't deal with actual human beings "Curvy" - fat "Drama free" - I'm still bitter and involved with the last guy who got me pregnant "Love to laugh" - I am a boring as hell ...

you gave me a bj at the buckethead show tonight - m4w

Aug 28, 2009 12:00 AM

i was rocking out to buckethead, i noticed you were too. you got to grinding on me, seemed out of place, but then we went out and started making out and one thing lead to another... afterwords you...

Morally Bankrupt - m4w

Aug 24, 2009 4:08 PM

I saw you in my bankruptcy class. I was so distracted by you that I could barely pay attention to the riveting lecture about the history of bankruptcy law. I imagine that you are a creditor and I...

gross spinach wraps: not an erotic flavor!

Aug 19, 2009 1:01 AM

spinach wraps by "la rosa" i bought them from new seasons. probably had 2 of them and nearly gagged each time i tried to eat them. i was sorely disappointed by the taste of crotch (and not in a goo...

Wanted: Beggars to stop being choosers

Aug 19, 2009 12:25 AM

Somehow I doubt that this is only a problem local to the Detroit or other Michigan CL communities. Granted, Michigan has the distinction of having the highest rate of unemployment in the nation - ...

Take advantage of my new lowered standards!

Aug 3, 2009 2:54 PM

Are you tired of all those other men who expect an emotional connection? Are you fed up with wasting all your precious time building a rapport before he gives in and sleeps with you? Well, listen u...

i need help moving my chickens

Jul 26, 2009 9:04 PM

I have approximately 1,243 chickens that need to be transported, i began my journey with my mini van but just was not working out, too many trips and too much shit and feathers, and with no ac it ...

FREE CRAP! (manure)

Jul 17, 2009 1:45 PM

i have a bunch of crap (manure) that i would like to unload on you. big steaming pile on my curb; nice and fresh. Let me know if you want to deal with my crap (manure) and I will give you the addre...

vomiting man sprinkler/yard art

Jul 14, 2009 8:56 AM

I built this guy last Friday & used him to water the lawn all day Saturday. People driving past, gawked at him like they had never seen a guy vomiting a steady stream of water all over the place. ...

An Apology To Veterans and Seniors

Jul 11, 2009 8:29 AM

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to two groups of Americans: our military veterans, and all senior citizens who are members of the World War II era, also known as The Greatest Gen...

To The Person Who Burglarized My Car

Jul 9, 2009 7:36 AM

Louisiana Criminal Code Section 62: Simple Burglary--"Simple burglary is the unauthorized entering of any dwelling, vehicle, watercraft, or other structure, moveable or immovable, with the specific...

Paddle

Jul 7, 2009 7:21 PM

That's right, a paddle. Lightly used. OK, not that lightly used. Not used on that many people, OK? Mostly just my ex's bottom. And a bit on mine. I tried using it on a really freaky girl a few ...

Summer Camp FAQs

Jul 5, 2009 11:52 AM

Dear Camp Parents, With week one of our summer day camp behind us, I’d like to share a few tips, insights, and rebuttals to your questions. You could even consider this Camp FAQs! 1. Yes, your c...

Going out of Life Sale

Jul 2, 2009 11:17 PM

Almost everything must go from my 2 family house, the Bank wants to foreclose on 9/11( im serious about the date). 1 black Amana fridge, freezer on the bottom(must stay till end of July). 1 stove, ...

Briefcase full of money

Jun 25, 2009 1:09 PM

Hello, I'm looking for a briefcase full of hundred dollar bills. I'm willing to accept larger types of bags with smaller denominations as well. Willing to travel. In fact, I have a large pickup ...

Cute Boy at Comet-rawr - w4m

Jun 15, 2009 10:10 AM

Wow, sassy. You, mister, rode up on your fixie so smooth and tantalizing. Key's dangling from your black jeans, held on only by that huge metal clip you got in the accessory department at American...

GIRL FROM GLORY HOLE AT ADULT BOOKSTORE - m4w

Jun 7, 2009 5:57 AM

I WAS THE GUY IN THE 3RD BOOTH, YOU POKED YOUR FINGER THROUGH THE HOLE, I FOUND IT WIERD THAT YOUR KNUCKLES WERE THAT HAIRY, BUT I UNDERSTAND HOREMONES. I PUT MY STUFF IN THE HOLE AND YOU WENT TO ...

300 Stuffed Penguins Free to Good Home

Jun 6, 2009 3:38 PM

********PENGUINS STILL AVAILABLE! Thank you for the overwhelming response******** What I'm offering here is about 300 stuffed penguins of various shapes, sizes, and species (predominately Emper...

re: old bitches

May 23, 2009 3:46 AM

Life's a bitch, ain't it? You're missing a few stitches in your skull surgery. Maybe I can be of help: 1. Women do not age to piss you off. Rubber bozo dolls do not age as quickly; try one of...

$30/hour: Personal Introduction Assistant / "wingwoman"

May 20, 2009 3:42 AM

We have an opening for a part-time personal introduction assistant, aka a "wingwoman." You must be classy and dress well. Beyond that you must be able to do 4 things: 1) start conversations w...

Supersize Your Car

May 13, 2009 6:14 PM

Car attic. 3'x3'x18" That's about 14 cubic ft. for you mathophobics. No leaks. Can be locked with padlocks. Roof racks not required, but it isn't magic. Clamps to vehicle rain gutters. Look at your...

To the fat jogger who spoke to me whilst my dog was taking a dump

May 12, 2009 3:03 PM

I applaud your willingness to talk to a dog-owner whose dog is taking a shit and question if they're going to pick it up as they walk away. However... My backstory is simply this. I had to park ...

Happy Birthday to me.

Apr 17, 2009 8:35 PM

When I look back at where I was a year ago I see myself with good friends, loving family, and a awesome job... Now this year im working at a 7.00 an hour job, im broke, living with my sister, I don...

wanting a lactating specialist.

Apr 12, 2009 11:15 PM

I would like to begin producing milk again. I understand what is involved and need the help of someone that can commit to 4 days a week, one hour a day,,, 6:00am to 7:00am, monday through thursday...

Free Concert at Guitar Center

Apr 12, 2009 3:46 PM

This is a special thanks to all of the guys that put on a free concert at guitar center everyday, we appreciate everything you do for our community. Like when I go in to actually purchase somethin...

Republican governor for sale

Apr 9, 2009 10:19 AM

Here in South Carolina we have a governor who wants to turn down the stimulus funds for education. We are not happy about this, but, heck, apparently there are people out there who admire this guy....

Thank you, employers!

Apr 5, 2009 10:24 AM

Dear employers with job openings, I just want to take a moment or two to thank all the companies that now only use online applications for the jobs for which I am best qualified. I'm so happy t...

Willing to trade! Wife and In-Law

Apr 4, 2009 7:58 PM

I see a lot of offers for trade so I want to give it a shot! I have a wife I will trade for a Harley Davidson! No SMALL bikes. I need something as big as my wife. She cooks and cleans, has a job...

I saw u riding dirty LTD style - w4m

Apr 4, 2009 5:47 PM

You were sitting two rows front of me wearing a hulk-a-mania teeshirt. I was wearing a yankes cap and had the funky looking cane. You start rubbing your stomach and groaning which progress to audib...

stop-and-talkers at the acme #1

Mar 29, 2009 10:47 AM

Hey, so you ran into an old friend did you? Or the big sale on all cuts of beef has you in a frenzy? Can't decide which granola looks the best? Well GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. I swear, I se...

You arrested me last night, oh handcuffs! - w4m

Mar 27, 2009 4:21 PM

You arrested me last night for a DUII. The second you put the handcuffs on me I couldn't help myself but to start having dirty thoughts about you. I love your power. It totally gets me off! I l...

This fish is a JERK! hahaha... Please read! :)

Feb 27, 2009 4:38 PM

Okay so here's the story. I have a bullfrog named Herman. He eats feeder fish (about 1 dozen every 5-6 days... he's got quite the appetite.) that I get from a local store. A few weeks ago I bought ...

Java Googles Upsizing

Feb 27, 2009 5:45 AM

The last programmer I hired told me I accidentally deleted all the java googles in my script folder. He was charging me an arm and a leg to fix it. Apparently it all needs to be converted to a Nor...

Mardi Gras YAY!

Feb 23, 2009 5:09 PM

My wife and I went to Mardi Gras so we could experience some wonderful diversity. I danced in the streets with a few wonderfully diverse people, both men and women, while my wife had sex with a li...

Need Someone to Turn Me Into Furniture

Feb 23, 2009 9:15 AM

I am a submissive white male living in london looking for a female, or couple, of artists who would like the challenge of designing human furniture which is comfortable for the user while objcetify...

Seeking Hentai Fan - w4m

Feb 1, 2009 2:10 PM

The guy (or maybe guys, who knows) I'm looking for watch(es) a LOT of hentai. You have a very high sex drive and watch hentai most days, if not every day. You often find yourself getting off watchi...

Woman seeks Man for Manly Duties

Jan 30, 2009 9:30 AM

I would like a man to perform some duties that have become beholden to him through generations of selection, and to a lesser degree, racism, sexism and plain stupidity. Here's what I need. I nee...

Jewish girl who passed out in my bed - m4w

Jan 21, 2009 9:25 AM

You: Jewish, attractive and drunk Me: Not Jewish (Gentile), dashing, gazelle on the dance floor and drunk In case you were as blacked out as I think you were, I feel as though I should reintr...

Vintage British 3 Speed Bicycle, Very Nice! - $30 (Dover)

Jan 18, 2009 8:49 AM

Perfect for commuting and just leaving outdoors. Great for everyday use. Great "Winter bike" I cant remember if it is a Mens or a Womens, but I know its a 3 Speed. Pick up only. Bring a shovel. ...

1978 Triumph Spitfire

Jan 12, 2009 11:32 AM

Runs surprisingly well, transmission shifts nice. Brakes work well. Passes inspection, all lights, wipers and horn function. Minimal rust, solid rockers, good floor. It's a 20-footer. Lots of dings...

Thumb tack "Push Pin" Wonderful Item !!! $0.32

Jan 12, 2009 9:17 AM

I have a really great pushpin for sale. It is blue. Has very little use, and still is somewhat sharp. There is however, a slight bend in the steel shaft. With the proper tools, this could easily be...

Let's Make a Deal!! - No reasonable/qualified offer refused

Jan 8, 2009 10:08 PM

We're interested in trading someone their 2006 or newer Honda Odyssey EX, EX-L or Touring Edition for our 2003 Dodge Grand Caravan - Sport Edition. Yes, a trade of this nature may seem a little lo...

ADORABLE girl in prison seeks male---loves the beach

Jan 8, 2009 3:03 PM

NOTICE: I am not Diana. I am a friend. DO NOT SEND ME PHOTOS for her! I will NOT foward them to her. Send me an email, and I'll mail you her mailing address. She is in prison, and has NO email acce...

I want some orange juice

Jan 7, 2009 7:08 PM

I'll give you $2 + cost if you'll deliver me some orange juice with receipt. I'm too lazy to get it myself. I live right by University Drive in Elon. Thank you. Location: Elon, NC Compensat...

Free downed weather balloon

Jan 6, 2009 3:17 PM

Heyo, Over the weekend a weather balloon crashed in my yard. It's about the size of a winebego and still has a lot of its original aluminum siding in tact, although you might have a tough time u...

To the Asian Girl Whom I offended with my Asian-ness - m4w

Jan 3, 2009 9:20 PM

You: Asian, young(ish), cute, petite, left-of-center, cosmopolitan. Me: The Asian guy you would never dream of giving a second glance. Hi! I’m so sad that you were offended by my very presence a...

Fooled around at church on New Year's Eve - m4w

Jan 2, 2009 1:55 PM

You: Very, very, very Drunk. Me: Very, very, very drunk. Here's what I remember: We shared a romantic moment on the dance floor. The kind of moment dreams and flowers and bunnies are made of. ...

EAST VILLAGE- Controlled and large 3 bed

Jan 1, 2009 1:39 AM

-Wow…I can’t believe I am doing this..But I am looking for someone to rent my rent controlled apartment. The monthly rent is extremely cheap and would be a dream for many people in this city. It is...

RE: Confiscated Marijuana overvalued

Dec 31, 2008 10:15 AM

Sort of. Cannabis intended for recreational consumption comes in several different grades ranging in price from $10 a pound for compressed bricks of seedy Mexican hemp flowers purchased near the s...

Break In...Break Out...

Dec 30, 2008 4:08 PM

I gotta hand it to you. When it comes to the art of the smash and grab, you're the best. I was in my apartment, probably awake, with the car parked right under my kitchen window flooded by parking ...

RANT: Air Fresheners

Dec 19, 2008 4:03 PM

This is intended to bring to the attention of all those responsible for marketing the various air freshening products that they have been overlooking a large and potentially lucrative market segmen...

Precise V5 Liquid Ink Rollerball Pen

Dec 18, 2008 4:30 PM

Hello and thanks for viewing my posting. Up for sale is a Pilot Precise V5 Liquid Ink Rollerball Pen that offers a unique microprecision point for a crisp, clean stroke. Large, economical ink suppl...

Craigslist for Dummies Vol 1

Dec 17, 2008 4:17 AM

This is the hard to find, must-read book for some people who list items here. It covers topics such as: How to read Terms of Use and the List of Prohibited Items Definition of SERVICE: If you...

FREE: Festivus Pole Stand

Dec 16, 2008 9:16 AM

Festivus Pole stand - red and green coloring scheme to match your holiday festivals. Can be used during "The Airing of Grievances" and the "Feats of Strength". For more information on Festivus...

Paper Mache Elephant

Dec 15, 2008 9:34 AM

2'(H) x 2'(L) x 18"(W) Location: Kanata it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Searching for my dream Co-Dependent

Dec 9, 2008 2:32 PM

My therapist and I made the observation that there are many normal, single, 30-something women available in this world, but very few normal, single, 30-something men. Oh, there are plenty of singl...

Busted peeing in the sink

Dec 9, 2008 7:09 AM

When it comes to peeing, its great to be a male. Ladies (and fellows with a micro-penis) purse their lips at men’s blithe attitude toward convenience when it comes to answering nature’s call. We’re...

Wife

Dec 7, 2008 9:45 AM

London based entrepreneur, 41 is seeking a person of at least graduate calibre, highly motivated and with a strong desire to be successful in whatever they do, for a challenging position of long te...

Death Ray - Once in a lifetime opportunity!

Dec 6, 2008 9:10 PM

This is a genuine Death Ray, aka home made solar oven. This thing is badass. You know how the economy's been sucking? Well, burn up your least favorite politicians in a fiery ray of destruction and...

Mixed Signals... Lets fix this

Dec 1, 2008 1:08 PM

You: Calling me at least 6 times this morning, trying to send me a fax Me: Picking up the phone every time, but hearing only the sweet *beeeeeeep* of love. I hear you there. I know you're there...

TO THE SIX-FOOT FOUR TRANSVESTITE - m4w

Nov 15, 2008 11:11 PM

I’ll file this under m4w as a compliment to your cross-dressing skills. Our paths crossed when you went to the voting center a few weeks back, presumably to vote. You: -Sporting a miniskirt. He...

2 Girls on Bus

Nov 13, 2008 11:15 PM

When you got on the bus talking excessively loud I gave you the benefit of the doubt... I noticed you (the one with platinum blonde hair) had some anime keychains and laminated drawings on your bac...

Room for Rent -- Inauguration Day/ObamaCon 2009

Nov 11, 2008 8:45 AM

In a search of a room in DC so that you can spend Jan. 20 standing in the bitter winter cold with thousands of like-minded souls watching the historic transfer of power from one Harvard grad to ano...

Will Scream at your obnoxious kids in trade for light yard work.

Nov 1, 2008 12:49 PM

Are your kids driving you crazy? Are you in need of some relief? Are you handy with an edger or some trimming shears? Let's trade! I'll bawl out your unruly tribe. In return, you can h...

Necrophiliac seeking corpse

Oct 26, 2008 6:33 PM

Seeking a tall, well-muscled insomniac to indulge a very particular fantasy. I would like to see you lie motionless on a green-and-cream chintz bedspread, face-up, wearing only your plaid boxer sh...

Hideous, Mean, Saggy-titted Cur

Oct 24, 2008 9:35 AM

Okay, so about three months ago my roommate takes in this stray dog. She's horrible, and I'm a dog lover, so I don't say that lightly. I say that as heavily as possible. And please don't flag th...

WELL HERE GOES... - w4m

Oct 21, 2008 6:29 PM

This is weird... I saw you at the park the other day- you know, the one by the school? You were over by that tree taking a leak and I thought that your coat looked GORGEOUS!! I wanted to sniff y...

To My Missed Missed Connection - m4w

Oct 20, 2008 11:14 PM

Are you a beautiful woman that has posted a Missed Connection on Craigslist? Did that guy you lusted after never get back to you? Well, I am sorry that I missed your missed connections post. I a...

Guys without Bikes - m4w

Oct 20, 2008 3:38 PM

I peruse the CL MCs on the man end over here and I have to say, is there any love for a guy NOT on a bike? It's often the only factor left to describe the man with whom you ladies are so smitten. ...

Trade Ungrateful hippie for some bananas

Oct 19, 2008 2:03 AM

Hello, if you need an extra stoner around your house to eat some of your food and make lots of noise at night + bring lots of strangers over to help justify that its ok to be completely f**cking re...

To the guy who drank from the can of Pepsi he found on the ground... - w4m

Oct 16, 2008 2:26 PM

I thought that was pretty gross at first, but the more I thought about it throughout the day, the more I was charmed by it. I can tell you are outgoing and uninhibited by social norms and I find th...

Girl seeking WoW player - w4m

Oct 14, 2008 11:01 AM

Do you like to PvP in the World of Warcraft? Do you want to have sex with a girl playing arena in the eighteen-hundreds bracket? Do you want to have sex with me WHILE I play arena? Continue reading...

To the tranny that blew that guy on the 49 bus last night..... - m4w

Oct 12, 2008 7:48 AM

....in case you were wondering, yes, we all saw. And were horrified! You might remember the incident, huh? About 9:45pm last night, heading north. Why would I know the time, well I had to look at ...

Disgruntled American Seeks Canadian For Political Asylum, Maybe More

Oct 1, 2008 3:00 PM

Like so many in the USA, I've become increasingly fed up with my country. The last 8 years have been a nightmare of perpetual motion. The presidential election is almost a month away, but let's fac...

you: Prius guy; me: not a hooker (redhead in purple fishnets) - w4m

Sep 29, 2008 2:50 PM

Me: A redhead on a bicycle, in fishnets and a short skirt, biking home from the Folsom Street Fair. You: A guy driving a Prius who tried to hire me for sexual services. There I was, biking al...

Why I'll be the Best 'Psycho' Ex-Girlfriend You've Ever Had!

Sep 20, 2008 9:46 AM

I know that all your ex-girlfriends are 'psychos.' I've heard all about them since hardly a day goes by that you don't make some eye-rolling reference to 'that crazy bitch' who practically ruined y...

Husband for adoption - low rehoming fee

Sep 19, 2008 5:57 PM

My husband said it's him or the dog? So, it was a tough choice, but the dog only takes up part of the bed, and he doesn't steal the covers, so I'm keeping the dog. Husband has tendency to wande...

Please discipline codegirl and make her code very difficult AJAX

Sep 18, 2008 10:51 PM

I have needs at work like all of us girls do. For me, I don't want to be a girl dropped into the coding pit to be awed and then broken by Senior PHP engineers wielding grim and terrible caching ...

Tips For Clueless People Who Get Mugged

Sep 18, 2008 12:48 PM

So you've just moved into a new "gentrifying" neighboorhood that's full of urban culture, cheap(er) rents, and wonderful friendly people. An odd lack of organic food stores and greenmarkets, but yo...

bag of butt plugs and/or mannequins parts

Sep 17, 2008 6:09 PM

~~~~Mannequins have been picked up all we have now is the bag of butt plugs~~~~ Yeah that's right you hear me right, a bag of butt plugs and/or mannequins parts, the mannequins from a store have...

Missed Connections Support Group -- forming NOW!

Sep 11, 2008 11:45 AM

Missed Connections Support Group Unable to function due to an addiction to Missed Connections? Always looking for your MC? Join us. This is a support group that will progress through several sta...

A plea for help to my Canadian bretheren

Sep 8, 2008 3:21 PM

I am honestly making this request from the bottom of my heart. Some of us down here in the States need your help. We want you to invade the United States. We have nut jobs in this country and they ...

Please buy this fixie wheelset. My battered heart implores you.

Aug 21, 2008 7:53 AM

Back in the halcyon days of our budding relationship, my now ex-boyfriend and I decided to start fixing up bikes. He was an old-school steel fan, so we started with his Schwinn Varsity---he conver...

Duck Mask

Aug 21, 2008 5:09 AM

Full head rubber mask, old, has discoloration on white feather part from age, storage. Hey I got it on my big head, so it works that way. Location: Acworth it's NOT ok to contact this poster w...

No Job? Never Call? Hate cats and/or dogs? YOU could be next!

Aug 19, 2008 7:11 PM

Well, since I seem to have a very specific type, I'll just lay it out there.I'm apparently really into the shiftless layabouts. If you are unemployed, unmotivated and possibly still live with your ...

Live in Nanny Needed for 4 kids (Pls don't call them "Precious Ones")

Aug 19, 2008 6:03 PM

My kids are a pain in the ass. Just in the past hour, i have had to tell each one to do something more than once. oldest: can i have soda? it's just a sprite? please? can i? no, no and no. the ne...

Cursed Coffee Mug - $6

Aug 18, 2008 12:32 PM

Merciful it is that the foetid horrors of reality are too vast for the mortal mind to comprehend. Somehow the past becomes uniform - the most basic distinctions, such as those between dream and re...

Why Spongebob Squarepants is the perfect girl for me.

Aug 15, 2008 9:34 PM

I wrote this a few weeks ago, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it, or perhaps what to make of myself. This looks like the place. Here you go Craigslisters, I present my arguments, in bullet fo...

Lolcode Developer: YOU CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER?

Aug 7, 2008 10:15 AM

YOU CAN HAS CHEEZEBURGER? YOU HAS A FLAVUR? YOU HAS BUKKIT? If so, you may be the right fit for this Columbus Web Design Startup! We are a small company looking for a Senior LOLC...

Fill My Valence Electron Shell

Aug 2, 2008 5:33 PM

A little about me: My name is Selenium, but you can just call me Se. I take good care of myself--78.96 amu and disease free. I've been ionized before, but I'm not really into that anymore.I'm loo...

We live together

Jul 17, 2008 5:59 PM

I keep passing you on the way to the fridge. I'm sure you've noticed me - I think you're looking at me out the corner of your eye when I get in and out of the bed we share. I waved at you several t...

ass cleaning tips

Jul 15, 2008 8:51 AM

Ass cleaning tips I have mastered the art of cleaning my stool hall and I want to share it with you losers who simply lather your wash cloth with some soap and do a quick reach around..THAT W...

ALL UTIL. INCLUDED!!! THIS IS THE ONE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!

Jul 10, 2008 11:53 PM

GORGEOUS 10 x 14 BEDROOM, DRENCHED WITH LOTS OF AFTERNOON SUNLIGHT, GENEROUS CLOSET SPACE, CLEAN BATHROOM, NICE COMMON SPACE AND STORAGE. W/D IN BASEMENT (COIN-OP ALTHOUGH LANDLORD IS IN PROCESS OF...

Autographed Copy of Plato's Republic

Jul 9, 2008 9 AM

1st edition of The Republic signed by its author. There is of course a reasonable amount of wear and tear, (light highlighting and underlining, dog-eared pages, back cover missing, etc.), but it is...

Please Don't Flag This, I Really Need To Thank These Strangers

Jul 7, 2008 10:59 PM

Ok, so people often ask, where are the good kind people anymore? Driving on Mt.Rose Hwy, and serving our communties is where! So I'm coming home to Reno on my motorcycle Saturday Evening after a...

Free Broken Time Machine

Jul 7, 2008 1:33 PM

Never got around to fixing it, all the buttons are stuck so it doesn't go in reverse only forward at normal speed come pick it up whenever Location: Norwalk it's NOT ok to contact this po...

need girl to please teach me to kiss - m4w

Jul 6, 2008 7:22 PM

As seen on TV! I'm a 20 yearold GA Tech student who has never kissed. I have been going out with a girl online for the last 5 years and she's finally coming down to see me on the 11th. She tells m...

To the Minotaur that lives above me.

Jun 26, 2008 8:36 AM

First off, I must say that I admire your courage. It must be hard living in the world today as a lady-beast. Society judges, oh lord do they ever. With that said, let’s get down to business. Over ...

trade my hot wife for 2 celts tickets!

Jun 7, 2008 7:45 AM

trade 1 night with my wife shes 5-4 105 brown hair eyes great body tanned toned very pretty girl 1 night all safe and normal stuff dinner movie drinks no drugs or crazy requests serious repl...

An Open Letter to the Brokers of New York City

Jun 4, 2008 6:35 PM

Dear Brokers, I am currently working with FIVE of you to find a decent studio in the city. I’d like to think that from my several weeks of experience that I have a pretty good of how you operate...

Decapitated dolls

Jun 4, 2008 7:54 AM

My daughter likes to pull the heads off of dolls. The therapist says we should let her, so we do. We have lots of headless dolls. Some of their heads my be retreivable; most probably not. Fre...

I Cleaned Up Your Mess Today - again

Jun 3, 2008 6:36 AM

You decided that you wanted to move to an apartment that didn't allow pets (and by the way, landlords are forbidden to do this in Toronto). I don't know what lured you. Maybe it was a boyfriend or ...

Ferocious Attack Kitten

Jun 2, 2008 5:10 PM

Ferocious attack kitten is available for adoption to any home willing to accept him. This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against ...

Awesome Custom made Bike!!!! Must SEE!!!!

Jun 2, 2008 11:25 AM

This is a sweet bike, it definately gets turned head and maybe some fingers. But screw them whackos, this is a sweet bike. Check it out. You'll never find another one like it. And to the few hu...

Free Tractor Tire! Yeah, a TRACTOR TIRE!

Jun 1, 2008 12:29 PM

At some point, my roommate found a tractor tire and it followed him home. Well, maybe he rolled it home from a few blocks away. So, what we have here is a big ol' tractor tire. It stands about...

SERIOUS guitarist looking for like-minded bandmates to make it big.

May 12, 2008 8:13 AM

Look here, Hudson Valley. I'm tired of answering ads on these pages only to find poseurs, geeks and acoustic folk acts who want me to change my unique playing to match their It's time for a band th...

Dead Moose

May 8, 2008 11:33 AM

I have a dead moose free for the taking. It died yesterday, apparently of natural causes. I called Fish & Game to come and get it. Apparently, moose are a natural resource and belong to everyb...

Looking for gamer guy! PST!

Apr 22, 2008 1:29 PM

Heeyyaa! I'm an independent 21 year-old Asian gamer chick that is currently looking for a fun and honest relationship with a cute guy! Pre-reqs include: World of Warcraft player Having at leas...

I hate all of you

Apr 20, 2008 8:50 PM

I don't care what colour you are. I don't care where you're from. I don't care what you do for a living. I don't care what class you are, how you dress, what you smoke or drink or who you know or w...

KERMIT SEEKS PIGGY

Apr 19, 2008 11:10 AM

For the longest time, I have admired the dynamic between this cross species couple. But then, sometime during the 80s, a commercial for the Muppets: Live on Stage added a new dimension. In it, a st...

Ibanker seeking romance

Apr 17, 2008 12:20 PM

Hello, ABOUT YOU: You are a young and good-looking girl. The parental abuse that you incurred as a child has left you emotionally distant and sexually repressed. You are able to sustain months (y...

A Sodding Good Time

Apr 16, 2008 10:21 AM

You need sod? Take one piece or twenty. Fill in those trouble spots on your lawn We know you have plenty. For all 100+ golfers, Carry a few in your bag. Laying some new carpet? Try this verd...

To the stupid bitches at Walmart that assumed I stole their phone

Apr 13, 2008 11:47 AM

You know who you are. You and your skanky friend entered the ladies room at Walmart, apparently looking for a cellphone you lost because you're a moron. I washed my hands, and upon exiting the rest...

No taxation without representation

Apr 11, 2008 7:33 PM

"No taxation without representation" What do I get for my federal taxes? Our public schools are failing, Social Security is insolvent, Medicare & Medicaid are run by a corrupt government that use...

Kissing lessons

Mar 30, 2008 8:55 PM

Are you a woman? Are you tired of guys complaining that you are a horrible kisser? Would you like to learn some new techniques in a fun and safe environment? Well you are in luck my friend! R...

Breakup Lesson # 1 - Don't fuck with someone who has naked pics of you

Mar 29, 2008 3:49 PM

6 years. 6 motherfucking years. What the hell. I had always figured we'd work it out. I chalked up your alcoholism, selfishness, infidelity, lying and depression to personality quirks that woul...

Unemployed Broke Girl Seeks Same for Friendship Maybe More

Mar 24, 2008 5:50 PM

In an effort to appease my best friend I am finaly posting a personal ad on Craigslist. I have tried explaining to her that I don't currently have a whole lot to offer a potential mate. She scoff...

Dear Cat,

Mar 24, 2008 10:02 AM

Dear Cat, I have some issues with you right now that I would like to hash out. And now is as good a time as any with you laying over my arms while I am trying to type on the computer. You don't ...

Firewood - good well seasoned and lots of it

Mar 12, 2008 12:26 PM

OK this is long but only because of all the nonsense I went through posting this ad last week and dealing with people that want me to deliver and stack it for them – for free. Or want to spend an ...

Mom, I know you're there.

Mar 11, 2008 2:38 PM

Mom, I know you’re out there, reading this. How do I know you’re out there? Let’s begin with that ad of mine that you recently responded to, shall we? You know the one I’m talking about. It...

Awesome handstitched rug made from ex's fave shirts.

Mar 4, 2008 3:20 AM

Allright folks...I have this lovely, amazing rug made hade out of my evil ex-fiance's favorite shirts! My idea was this...I would cut them up and sew them together in order to make a mat to place u...

Free: Lazy Boyfriend, Slightly Used

Mar 3, 2008 12:43 PM

Free: One slightly used boyfriend. Sleeping right now, and for the past 18 hours, after staying out with his pals the night before until 4 am. I don't think he really wants to keep his job much lon...

You, the waiter in the castro......

Feb 27, 2008 7:51 PM

So there we were, coming in to eat at your establishment. You, my oh-so perfect little queen waitron were almost but not quite able to hide your dismay at this odd group of people. I mean, really, ...

From Your Friendly Neighborhood Barista

Feb 24, 2008 10:00 PM

I've been in the coffee business for awhile now. I worked for three years while I was in high school, and now that I'm 400 miles away and a junior in college, I work at another coffee shop. In g...

I can't believe I ate ants for you - w4m

Feb 21, 2008 7:27 PM

When you had a small group over for bbq at your place I pretended I didn't notice the tortilla chips had ants all over them and ate them anyway. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of your frie...

to the guy doing my wife

Feb 21, 2008 11:43 AM

To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife. 1.Please stop leaving the seat up, I ke...

Pheromone Assault - m4w

Feb 18, 2008 11:18 PM

I was trying desperately to pay attention/stay awake during the lecture on Saturday, when, much to my surprise, I was visited by an erection. Not just any erection, but my very own. How could thi...

Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer

Feb 18, 2008 2:09 PM

This space ship is in excellent condition! Only 300 million Intergalactic miles, 4 passenger, no meteor dents, possibly needs reactor seals and recharged flux capacitor, 1 owner. Still have the ori...

Carton Of Irregular Cat Hats

Feb 7, 2008 11:01 AM

Hello. I have a big box of used cat and kitten hats that I have collected over the years for various occasions. As of recently my cat, Snowman, is no longer living and thus I am forced to get rid o...

Flying Carpet

Feb 2, 2008 5:12 AM

To make a long story short, I inherited this from my dad when my folks retired, cleaned out the house and moved south. He was in the oil business for 45 years and traveled all over the world bui...

Geo metro

Jan 21, 2008 12:58 AM

1994 Geo metro - Windshield cracked. Door hinges missing on drivers side - door falls off when handle pulled and must be "placed" back on to close. Passenger side door will not open at all, probabl...

is this your pet?

Jan 17, 2008 7:47 PM

Found in my laundry: One sockpet. Found when I got home from the laundromat at Harbord/Shaw about 2 weeks ago. Responds to the name Kafka; friendly, good with kids. We are happy to have him, bu...

Found: One large bag of "Granny Porn" DVDs.

Jan 16, 2008 5:35 PM

Dude (well, I assume you're a dude), what the hell is your problem? You left a huge bag full of Granny porn on the sidewalk in Carlsbad. I can only assume this was deliberate. It's not like you're...

Dear Potential Roommates...

Jan 8, 2008 9:15 PM

Dear Potential Roommates... Even though I have the room to rent in my house I don't desperately need the extra rent money to make ends meet. Because of this I think I can be somewhat selective w...

Star Wars Guide to the Candidates

Jan 2, 2008 5:05 PM

Hello America! As you may know, 2008 is going to be a g-rate year. I am so excited! There is to be a presidential election this year! Hoo-ray! Exciting times, exciting times. And whoa... so conf...

Dear Internet Porn

Dec 24, 2007 10:54 AM

Dear Internet Porn, These last ten years have been quite a trip, have they not? My letter to you now, however, is not one of celebration... I don't feel like we are the same anymore. We just d...

RANT: Guys that can't keep a fucking secret!!!

Dec 21, 2007 2:10 PM

This rant goes out to all of the guys here that can't keep a fucking secret!!!! YOU FUCKING RUINED CRAIGSLIST!!!!! Two years ago this was a virtual sex den for guys to hookup with women, coup...

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