Amy Jane Gruber

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@blurb "I didn't cut me balls" is a funny typo. It's like a pirate vasectomy.

Oct 28, 2009 3:12 PM

"I made you a drink and I totally didn't put any rat poison in it."

Oct 25, 2009 9:43 PM

@Mike_FTW I seriously think you need to come out here. I can't do this alone.

Oct 25, 2009 9:04 PM

@killmoms That was excellent. And very quick!

Oct 24, 2009 8:12 PM

Jonas asked me if we were married then: http://flic.kr/p/7a92Db

Oct 24, 2009 7:38 PM

@Moltz My boy sleeps with a stuffed animal version of that logo. He adores it. This is probably not surprising to anyone.

Oct 23, 2009 4:06 PM

My husband is such a dick.

Oct 22, 2009 7:16 PM

@SuperStrong I don't know what any of those words mean.

Oct 21, 2009 12:53 PM

For a Yanks/Phils World Series my husband has a choice: got to a bar and get his ass kicked by strangers or get his ass kicked here at home.

Oct 21, 2009 12:38 PM

@hotdogsladies Some days I think @madmann might be the only one who truly understands my pain.

Oct 20, 2009 7:14 PM

My personal favorite was "I woke up with a mouthful of glass."

Oct 13, 2009 6:25 PM

You know, I couldn't have predicted it, but I actually miss waking up to 5 pages of incoherent Courtney Love tweets.

Oct 13, 2009 6:24 PM

I just saw a man who is apparently cultivating Hulk Hogan look. I mean, he has to be, right? That doesn't just happen by accident.

Oct 12, 2009 2:14 PM

So, the boy claims he told his teacher that "Daddy is a drug addict." I could be mortified or I could have a lot of fun with this.

Oct 5, 2009 1:57 PM

It's a sign to leave a bar when you find yourself considering staying because they're going to play a double shot of AC/DC.

Oct 3, 2009 5:59 PM

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