dipity

Anchor of Goodnight Burbank. I AM THE NEWS!

Created by twitter_GordonWSmythe on Sep 5, 2008

Last updated: 10/21/08 at 09:07 PM

• Palin adds Jane the Engineer, Molly the Dental Hygienist & Chuck the teacher to rhetoric. Sings:T...
  Oct 21, 2008 4:09 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/969689545

• Joe the Plumber and Ed the Dairyman getting all the love from McCain. What about Dave the Butche...
  Oct 20, 2008 9:46 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/967686198

• Classmates call 12 yr old girl racist for wearing McCain Tshirt. Stunning indictment of educ syst...
  Oct 18, 2008 4:32 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/965649628

• Joe The Plumber's ass crack voted Hottest Republican Slot by Mark Foley, Ted Haggard AND Larry Cr...
  Oct 15, 2008 7:07 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/961679103

• Why do McCain's cheeks bulge? Only because they're filled with nuts - making him the most lovable...
  Oct 15, 2008 6:58 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/961649110

• Canadians for McCain all just came violently.
  Oct 15, 2008 6:48 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/961622855

• McCain just disinvited Biden from Thanksgiving dinner the hard way.
  Oct 15, 2008 6:45 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/961616979

• McCain tells the world why Palin would make a great President without cracking up. Impressive.
  Oct 15, 2008 6:43 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/961609395

• This Just In: Joe the Plumber reportedly gave Ted Stevens some kickbacks.
  Oct 15, 2008 6:34 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/961582190

• Nancy Reagan falls & fractures pelvis. Bang goes her Elvis impersonation at this year's Reagan Li...
  Oct 15, 2008 1:58 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/961204169

• Ringo Starr declares he's too busy to sign any more autographs. Everyone in world tries to feign ...
  Oct 13, 2008 7:10 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/958474742

• US to remove North Korean from Axis of Evil. For continuity's sake, will replace it with Belgium.
  Oct 11, 2008 8:11 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/955514358

• Alaskan state committee finds Pailn did indeed abuse power but wait until end of day Friday to sa...
  Oct 10, 2008 5:41 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/954945187

• Palin says she wants to go on SNL and "imitate" Tina Fey. She might prove a better addition to th...
  Oct 9, 2008 1:12 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/953219607

• Nepal appoints 3 year old a living goddess. SOMEONE'S going to be the worst wife ever in 20 years.
  Oct 7, 2008 9:07 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/950835345

• JK Rowling makes five pounds a second. That's still nowhere near as much US taxpayer money that B...
  Oct 6, 2008 9:59 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/949254235

• Ebay lays off 1,000 workers. All together now: Going, Going, Gone.
  Oct 6, 2008 6:28 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/949049907

• High Court allows Arizona to issue 'choose life' license plates. What's appropriate level of iron...
  Oct 6, 2008 10:07 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/948499974

• McCain convinced he can win campaign if he keeps people entranced by kewpie doll Palin and the th...
  Oct 5, 2008 5:42 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/947664476

• Oasis accused of plagiarizing Cliff Richard on their new CD. Barry Manilow now going through the...
  Oct 4, 2008 5:30 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/946645784

• Man loses 550 lbs., gains bride. Will he NEVER learn???
  Oct 4, 2008 3:21 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/946549433

• Palin's constant winking is actually Alaskan code for "gosh doodely darn, what do I say next?".
  Oct 4, 2008 12:39 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/946425258

• OJ guilty. God that sounds weird.
  Oct 4, 2008 12:47 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/945941189

• If Palin quotes Reagan one more time she'll have re-tweeted everything the man ever said.
  Oct 2, 2008 7:32 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944360749

• All these mentions of "maverick". I think Palin's been paid by Netflix to subliminally push Top G...
  Oct 2, 2008 7:28 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944348713

• This just in. Sarah Palin is the love child of Tina Fey and Ned Flanders.
  Oct 2, 2008 7:07 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944281684

• Palin making fun of people who voted for the war. Has anyone told her who started it? Make sure s...
  Oct 2, 2008 7:05 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944274818

• Palin may have pigeon toes but Biden has crows feet.
  Oct 2, 2008 7:04 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944270493

• Palin points to cow farting as the major source of global warming. Calls for more meat eating and...
  Oct 2, 2008 6:57 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944252629

• Palin and Israel. BFFs!
  Oct 2, 2008 6:53 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944238043

• Biden supports same-sex benefits but won't commit to same-sex friends with benefits.
  Oct 2, 2008 6:38 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944190306

• Palin won't discuss cause of global warming, just solutions. Promises to roll up sleeves, turn on...
  Oct 2, 2008 6:34 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944175666

• Palin describes her area of expertise as energy. As in "gosh darn, i gots lots of it! pew pew pew!"
  Oct 2, 2008 6:25 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944147589

• Good news for Palin; her face is well and truly botoxed. Bad news; her neck isn't.
  Oct 2, 2008 6:12 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944105414

• Tina Fey sounds sweet when defending McCain but it's hard to take an actress seriously against Bi...
  Oct 2, 2008 6:09 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944096806

• Palin asks Biden if she can call him Joe. He asks if he can call her sweet tits.
  Oct 2, 2008 6:04 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944082405

• Only VP debate underway. Makes sense. Because since when has a VP been that important?
  Oct 2, 2008 6:03 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/944078789

• First Chinese astronaut walks in space. NASA's Shuttle crew now under investigation for most exp...
  Sep 27, 2008 7:11 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/937699883

• Paul McCartney plays Israel. Fans eat up "Day Schlepper", "(My Son) Doctor Robert" & "Can't Buy...
  Sep 25, 2008 10:23 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/935347225

• David Blaine takes constant breaks during his latest stunt, claiming he wasn't 'going to pee all ...
  Sep 25, 2008 3:08 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/934166505

• Warren Buffett calls credit crisis "economic Pearl Harbor". ...So it's Japan's fault?
  Sep 24, 2008 9:22 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/933946647

• Just 4 House Republicans approve Paulson plan. I'm assuming the house in question belongs to Mr....
  Sep 24, 2008 3:34 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/933612984

• McCain to suspend campaign while Wall St. crumbles. Let's encourage him not to restart it.
  Sep 24, 2008 3:05 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/933583890

• Clay Aiken comes out of closet. However, he still denies he's a ginger.
  Sep 24, 2008 12:27 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/932713047

• Palin meeting with 7 world heads of state. Or 'speed dating' as they call it in Alaska.
  Sep 23, 2008 4:18 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/932311524

• Palin scheduled to meet with Karzai. On topics schedule to discuss: What countries can you see f...
  Sep 22, 2008 3:50 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/930976342

• China going for a late gold in tainted milk babies.
  Sep 21, 2008 11:18 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/930105172

• George Michael arrested (again) in public toilet for possessing drugs. Turns out Everything She ...
  Sep 20, 2008 9:45 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/929051729

• Woman gets life for having sex with five year old. Claims she was fooled - he looked at least 8.
  Sep 20, 2008 8:06 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/928440866

• Lost Mozart score found in France. Contains striking similarities to Milli Vanilli's "Girl You K...
  Sep 18, 2008 1:25 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/GordonWSmythe/statuses/926361144