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Bet your ass I'm on Twitter! In fact, Twitter is the perfect thing to do while sitting on my ass... Too bad I can't major in Twitter.

Apr 27, 2009 9:18 PM

Wow, Bender started snoring like a construction robot, not just a bending robot. This sucks.

Apr 6, 2008 7:35 AM

Not sure how I feel about coming back on Comedy Central. Feels kinda strange... like a new pair of underwear. That tells you jokes.

Mar 28, 2008 3:10 PM

I've discovered something even better than money... my friends. And there aren't worth even a penny to me.

Mar 11, 2008 5:02 PM

Wow, everything just tasted kinda purple.

Feb 8, 2008 9:35 PM

did everything just taste purple?

May 3, 2007 5:17 PM

I just made out with that radiator woman from the Radiator Planet!

Mar 4, 2007 6:06 PM

I heard you one time single-handedly defeated a rampaging hoard of somethings in the something something system!

Feb 25, 2007 8:51 AM

Did everything just taste purple?

Feb 21, 2007 3:09 AM

why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid? With the fish part on top, and the mermaid part on the bottom?

Feb 8, 2007 10:54 PM

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