dipity

Peripheral visionary.

Created by twitter_highindustrial on Sep 6, 2008

Last updated: 03/01/10 at 11:46 PM

• OH: "She's fucking her way through Maslow's hierarchy of needs."
  Feb 19, 2010 8:12 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/9368794380

• "Steve Jobs made me delete it" is the new "the dog ate my homework."
  Feb 8, 2010 3:28 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8829794067

• Jan Hooks is ready for Margot Kidder's close-up.
  Feb 5, 2010 6:50 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8705782478

• Some of my best friends are your mom.
  Feb 3, 2010 10:02 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8621604524

• Text "HATER" to 27753 to send a $499 donation to Apple Inc.
  Jan 29, 2010 11:32 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8380761925

• Phil Schiller: business casual up front, Viva Viagra in the back.
  Jan 27, 2010 11:05 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8289952814

• I'm craigslist-missed-connections-ing you with my eyes.
  Jan 24, 2010 3:12 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8167182596

• @healdrules @marklisanti You also just described the plot of the 1993 Matthew Broderick-Annabella...
  Jan 21, 2010 5:00 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8049367306

• My mom's version of not wanting to reveal what life experience led her to some seedy trivia: clai...
  Jan 20, 2010 11:34 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/8019418695

• Remember when teachers were all "ever since computers, penmanship’s gone to shit"? Well, ever sin...
  Jan 13, 2010 9:42 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/7738192368

• I likened someone to Whistler's Mother but my friend misheard it as Stifler's mother and we took ...
  Jan 11, 2010 10:44 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/7660776791

• Our enthusiastically inappropriate conversation at this bar now has a blast radius.
  Jul 26, 2009 12:37 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2850394852

• "Kate" Holmes isn't Tom Cruise's puppet—she's his jazz hands.
  Jul 24, 2009 11:11 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2823004126

• Human hands and a big plastic head look whimsical on Jack in the Box's Jack—but on Burger King's ...
  Jul 23, 2009 2:52 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2795780547

• @SeoulBrother Somewhat confusingly, it's also where they buried "Eerie, Indiana."
  Jul 22, 2009 5:08 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2788307014

• "This apartment has ass-to-ass carpeting."
  Jul 21, 2009 7:23 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2770160326

• Turns out "oleophobic" isn't Pig Latin for "sneeze guard."
  Jul 13, 2009 4:12 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2612631892

• A Hershey's commercial has to work the "purity of fun" angle because the chocolate is adulterated...
  Jul 7, 2009 2:38 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2521614225

• If Jeter changed his name to Walter Matthau and A-Rod changed his to Martin Landau the injury to ...
  Jun 29, 2009 3:48 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2394764765

• Remember that time we all live-tweeted death like crazy?
  Jun 25, 2009 5:13 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2335734357

• In a new commercial Pizza Hut refers to its menu as "the lottery of food." Which is a literary wa...
  Jun 25, 2009 2:28 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2324169593

• @Remiel "Hope no one jumps your dead bones."
  Jun 23, 2009 10:48 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2297739457

• "Dry shampoo" sounds like a euphemism for public stoning.
  Jun 20, 2009 1:00 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2250611737

• I think I bought a pair of Converse Meshach Taylor All-Stars by mistake.
  Jun 7, 2009 3:01 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2063529724

• Looking forward to "Night at the Museum: Lactose Intolerance at the Louvre."
  Jun 2, 2009 8:38 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/2012434602

• Forget lemonade—I'm starting a foaming hand wash stand.
  May 27, 2009 12:56 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1939112781

• "Double penetration" means more than one thing.
  May 27, 2009 6:10 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1935435495

• This "Lime Coconut" Ice Breakers® Sour smells like hair gel and tastes like Harry Nilsson's taint.
  May 22, 2009 12:15 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1880151755

• The world will end in automated voice prompts.
  May 20, 2009 3:24 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1864321155

• Making a Whole Foods run before things get feral and I have to stab Debi Mazar's nanny over the l...
  May 17, 2009 9:27 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1832769930

• Big dick muscle cars, dilated asshole Harleys.
  May 17, 2009 3:54 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1830007220

• Discovered the formula for time travel: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A
  May 16, 2009 11:06 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1823823499

• The Onion A.V. Club should start a new feature: Power Couples That Time Forgot. To kick things of...
  May 12, 2009 4:05 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1772382399

• Alan Alda so reminds me of my shrink that I want to give him a firm, neutral handshake and trick ...
  May 8, 2009 1:29 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1741070841

• The day is almost nakedly pretty. You can practically make out the sun's areola.
  Apr 30, 2009 9:48 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1660570276

• All my tweets from the past three days abruptly vanishing from my timeline is the sincerest form ...
  Apr 13, 2009 10:04 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1514675822

• I've been enjoying @birdhouseapp since before you were bored.
  Apr 13, 2009 12:53 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1511319289

• My mother enjoys Showtime's The Tudors. Showtime's The Tudors is essentially wall-to-wall stone-c...
  Apr 3, 2009 10:03 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1450106211

• Tommy Wiseau is the golem Arnie, Bruno and Sly created to guard the recipe for Cap'n Crunch Chicken.
  Apr 1, 2009 1:56 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1430302449

• Every scene on TBS' My Boys is staged like a police lineup. A police lineup OF HILARITY.
  Mar 30, 2009 1:53 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1420150862

• They lived long enough to survive and they became their own mythology; and in the end that was go...
  Mar 21, 2009 2:16 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1365225998

• Twitter is Kegel exercises for new media.
  Mar 20, 2009 3:03 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1362945998

• Lost amidst the furor over Sci Fi Channel's rebranding as "Syfy" are the crucial diacritical mark...
  Mar 16, 2009 2:45 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1338708637

• @marklisanti @atencio I passed out during a horror movie at the ArcLight once. @lonelysandwich fo...
  Mar 13, 2009 1:26 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1320776012

• The sky is the color of Maxfield Parrish's vomit, and I'm okay with that.
  Mar 2, 2009 6:29 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1269345375

• @jhstrauss I have enough beard for both of us.
  Feb 28, 2009 8:55 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1264511968

• @alexblagg And Anne Hathaway as Atreyu.
  Feb 26, 2009 10:59 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1254800183

• Cate Blanchett is taking over for Sienna Miller in Ridley Scott's soon-to-be-retitled Nottingham?...
  Feb 25, 2009 3:36 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1251426891

• This opening number might be the gayest thing Bruce Vilanch has ever seen. And I'm weirdly into it.
  Feb 22, 2009 5:38 PM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1239007559

• Email was invented so parents could forward us cheesy homilies espousing values they were too laz...
  Feb 20, 2009 4:45 AM

  
  http://twitter.com/highindustrial/statuses/1230359047